Can you see what is is yet?

I've had an amazing, roller coaster of a day today. Mick bought me some pastels for Christmas and I booked into a class to learn how to use them. I have a hang up about knowing the 'right' way of going about these things. I find it really difficult to let go and just DO it!

First though, I met for coffee with my lovely friend Julie. We spoke about kindling. How it's no good having logs for your fire but no kindling. How kindling needs to be gathered together. How it doesn't even know it's kindling until its gathered together!

So that's the plan... gather the people with a sparky, prayerful heart together and get the bellows going. Then we can think about heaving some lovely great logs on to sustain and build the blaze.

We spoke about the amazing ways God has answered our prayers over the years. Sometimes we haven't noticed the little steps along the way and it's just in looking back that we see them.

Building my picture up today felt scary. I was surprised to feel quite vulnerable and exposed in having to make marks on paper without understanding what I was doing.

I didn't 'get' what the teacher was saying. I couldn't see what she meant, but did it anyway. I really wanted to do this thing, learn how it worked, but I wanted to know first rather than find out by doing it. I had a bit of a tussle with myself!

Trusting the Rabbi can be like that too.

I got more and more excited as my painting began to take shape. Julie and I had a lovely sense of beginning to see the picture coming through today too, but our journey's been - and still is - long and winding.

There's enormous value in walking that road. Scary though.